My Eating Disorder Weight Loss

Wednesday, August 4, 2010

Feeling good and so close to reaching 9st


It's bizzare how going to bed on an empty stomach actually makes you feel happier. Despite a slip earlier today, followed closely by a purge, i haven't eaten anything. I feel so much better, and then i remember that the most this day is going to do is reverse the damage i did yesterday.
As you remember, yesterday was my birthday. I had planned to stick to my evening meal (which i had researched the calories of). However, things did not turn out like that as my family had got time off work for my birthday. Instead i had to go through a stop/start method to purging, only doing it when i could. I was convinced that i was going to pile on the pounds like mad, and that it would take me another month to lose it...or something stupid like that!
Instead, this morning i weighed myself and the damage wasn't so bad as to blow my head off. It's still bad enough for me to shiver internally and want to scrape it off. I went up just under 1lb. My solution was simple - try to avoid eating as much as possible today and exercise as much as possible.
This weigh in had not been easy as i had to wait until 11.30 before my sister left the house. During this time i didn't allow myself to drink as it would have affected my weight. By the time i'd weighed myself, a cool drink was a welcome reward. As i went downstairs to get my drink, i noticed the bread, and cake in the kitchen. Without hesitating, i tucked into 1/4 chocolate cake, a slice of ice cream, and a cheese sandwich. Following that, i bent double over the toilet and rid myself of as much as possible. Double checking on the scales to make sure i hadn't gained.
This called for serious measures. I donned my running kit and went for a jog, planning on doing a couple of laps around the block (roughly 3miles). Instead i decided to take a different route and ended up doing over 6 miles in a storm! I absoloutely poured it down and i had a really fantastic run, not to mention burning over 700 calories :)
After my run, i showered and then had to keep checking myself, as i found that i gravitated towards the kitchen, like i was in a daze. I deviated my attentions by swiging at two pepsi maxes and tidying my room. More clothes got thrown on the 'can't wear any more' pile and stashed degrading chocolate wrappers from behind my bed got binned. I actually asked my mum for a wicker bin (so that i actually have a bin, rather than a 'bin' that i use for purging), and she got me one as a birthday present!
Later in the day, i went to my evening spinning class. I made it tough for myself but i was on a roll with exercise and wanted to get ahead, and lower than i have before with my weight. Tomorrow is a 5 mile cross country run - whopee!
Quick Bites:
Binged / Purged - once
Ran - 6.15 miles
Spinning - 50 minutes
Weight - 130lbs
Pulse (BPM) - 52bpm
Love to you all. Thanks for the birthday wishes Bonnie!
Speak soon,
Poppy xox

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