S is for suicide in my own flesh
C is for carving my own bone dress
A is for anger bottled up inside
R is for reason which leaves with the tide
E is for eating and flushing it down
D is for dreading the part where i drown.
Don't worry - i'm not suicidal. I've been there before, and i'm miles away from being that bad. I'm just going with the poetical flow. Bit melodramatic, i know, but i can't be long today. The facts are as follows:
- Putting on lbs blows
- I have put on lbs
- I will put on at least another lb tomorrow (because of a meal)
- This is unavoidable unless i purge
- Purging will be difficult
- Ergo i'm freaking out and want to hide in a hole.
I will report back from the safety of my bunker when the weight has left again. I will strive to do everything i can in my power to get it off asap, but i will not feel right again until i am back to 8st 12 (124lbs). This may mean a few days, however i could dip in and out depending on my mood. It's just a heads up that things might be a bit fucked up for me in the next few days. :(
Love, hugs and lightness,
Poppy xox
